Fernando looks over his things in his camper in deciding what to take with him and what not to take. It does not matter to him. How he may look to others. But with all the posters floating about of him, Hondo and James posted about the city, the last thing he needs is some unwanted attention. Glasses come off for a pair of contacts, EMT Jacket gets replaced with a regular jacket, and he goes hatless. Though it is getting to be mid afternoon, neither he nor Hondo have had lunch yet. A burger and a beer would sound good but he was hungry for something more. He steps out of his electric camper and waits for a second as he hears somebody stepping out of Hondo’s camper and decides to see who it is.
“Yo Hondo, going back to town like that?” Fernando asks.
“What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?” Hondo asks.
“You look like that guy on Ichigo’s Death Match posters. Can’t bring to much attention to ourselves, you know.” Fernando explains.
“I see what you mean. Give me a quick second.” Hondo say before stepping into his camper. He takes a couple minutes to change out of his usual coat and hat, coming out in a flannel shirt. But without his coat, he has to switch to a smaller firearm with a pocket holster in his jean’s pocket. At least he still had his back up ankle guns inside his boots.
As Hondo steps out of his camper, Fernando points out, “You almost look human.”
“You look just as disgusting yourself, Jefe.” Hondo replies.
“Good. Let’s go get something to eat, I want something more than just a beer and a burger. Perhaps a steak will do me nicely.” Fernando points out.
“Well, let’s hit the tourist spots. Maybe they have something like the Old Ho-Joes from long ago or something.” Hondo replies.
“Ho-Jo’s? Now you’re taking!” Fernando says as they begin their trek back to the town.
The Tourists’ part of town was too much like New York City before the turn of the century. Too many posters, too much bright lights, too many beggars seeking for a hand out for juggling their balls in public. Too much of the non-important and not enough of the important things that could have made this place a better town. Even their restaurants were too show-offy, displaying what was being prepared for the customers in the window like it was done in China Town some 50-years ago. But eventually they find a place to their liking – Al’s Grilled Meat Emporium.
Walking in, it was typical as restaurants go, a wait staff attended you to a table and served water as a walk-in refreshment while you studied the menu entries. Both Fernando and Hondo nods at the choices on the list.
“Before we start, How about a beer, whatever you have on tap?” Hondo says.
“What kind you want, sir?” The waiter points out the last page of the menu under drinks. Two on the list were Home brews, a dark and a light.
“Nice...” Hondo replies, adding, “I’ll take the House Special Light Brew.”
Fernando turns to the back of the menu for a second, ordering, “I’ll take the House Special Dark.”
They continue looking at the menu for a second.
“The Bison Brisket sounds good. ’Choices of two vegetables and one grain.’ Hmmm, Wide Egg Noodles with the Brisket with 2 vegetables sounds good. What you think?” Fernando says and asks.
“The Bison T-bone sounds good to me. With baked potato and a salad but I’ll skip on the salad.” Hondo points out.
“I was looking at that too, but I’d probably take as tomorrow’s lunch.” Fernando replies.
Hondo nods as the waiter returns to their table with their beers. Before the waiter can say anything, the two men give out their over – one Bison T-Bone with baked potato and salad and the other a Bison Brisket on top of Wide Egg Noodles with corn and spinach.
The beers were a bit better than what they expected, but if one is making their beer, they would at least try to make it better than all the rest they would sell. The meal was served quickly, and the food was fresh as fresh items made for better meals. Fernando was expecting corn kernel nibblets, but instead got a healthy sized ear of corn on the cob. The noodles seem to be fresher than the bagged variety he grew up with, as they were made during the morning of the day. If any fresher, the meats from Fernando’s Brisket and Hondo’s T-Bone were still be rutting and up-holding Alpha Challenges in the fields a couple miles away. At last, a meal mom for her boys would make if mom were still alive in this misbegotten time.
“Only a few hours left to Dinner Time, what’s the plans for the rest of the day?” Hondo asks.
“Window shopping and price checking for a vehicle and supply shopping for dinner.” Fernando says, realizing he wish he had one of the pull carts with him. He throws in, “This is not bad for apocalypse food.”
“Better get used to it.” Hondo points out, “If we do not find a way out of this time, we are stuck here.”
“I’m not worried about being stuck here. This place is like a damn snow drift and our tires are just spinning in place. Eventually we will get out. It is just a matter of when.” Fernando points out.
“I hope so.” Hondo says as he picks up the local newspapers. “Hmmm... Mr. Johnson’s Wheels and Deals is having a sale.”
“I’m sure Mr. Johnson has some competition across the street.” Fernando states the obvious.
“We know that. I just find it odd that he’s the only one with ads.” Hondo looks at the ad, “Hmmm... No money down, just show us your winning ticket, we’ll do the rest!”
“Probably his newspaper. Remember how the Amish operated their press. Local news only and the general store where the press operates from has all the ad space.” Fernando continues.
“Hmmm...” Hondo nods.
For another 30 minutes they talk and eat at the same time. Discuss about Jeanette and her carbon temporal copy comes up.
“Wasn’t our ‘fearless’ leader a full grown adult?” Hondo asks.
“I get that feeling too, but something happened that I cannot place my finger on. So until this mission is over, we are going to suffer from the Mandela Effect while we follow the USS Lolipop’s Captain.” Fernando explains.
“And that other one... Bad enough there’s two of them but she’s been hawking our fight promoter like a lost puppy. Even worst that Ichikoo wants to jump your bones but that second Jeanette wants to insert herself into business she should stay out off. She’s into threesomes or something?” Hondo points out.
“I would have to be drunk, horny, desperate and dying to hit on either of those two. Doing either of them two would be like doing a child. I swear, there’s a difference between doing a midget and doing a kid.” Fernando lets out.
“You into midgets?” Hondo asks inquisitively.
“As an adult, the shortest girl I ever dated was 4ft10in. And as a teenager, the shortest girl I went out with was 4ft2in. And believe me, they were both freaks, like they had something to prove because they are so short. Other than that, they are just like normal people, just shorter. I did not date them because they were midgets, but because they were persons of the female persuasion.” Fernando explains.
“Hmmm... Interesting...” Hondo responds.
“It’s like dating the ugliest girl in class vs. dating the school’s stuck up beauty queen. The ugly girl, who may not be ugly after all, just plain looking, will give it her all for you to have a good time with. You two will be more engaged in conversation and interaction. After the date, she would become a loyal friend to you. But with the Beauty Queen, it is all about ‘Me! Me! Me! and Me!’ That date will go nowhere fast. In fact to make it worse, she might talk about past boyfriends she had because she’s comparing them to you and how you do not measure up to ‘HER’ standards. So that date will end quickly and on a sour note. And unless she wants something from you, there will be no second date.” Fernando explains, adding, “Short girls unless they get that bravado attitude where they think they are undefeatable, would be loyal to those who are kind and generous to them.”
“It’s like that with most girls.” Hondo replies.
“So it is. But look at Ichigo – so full of that bravado that she thinks she cannot be defeated no matter what. When it comes her downfall will be so hard, she’s going to break on impact. And that other Jeanette is no different. Those two bumping head together – irresistible force meets immovable object. And when that happens, it is not going to be pretty.” Fernando explains.
“I can see that already happening.” Hondo begins, “Back in the car when you reminded Ichikoo about her betting her ass, and that other Jeanette steps in adding herself into the bet. But when Ichikoo challenged Jeanette into a 3-way with you and her, Jeanette backed down quickly.”
“You saw that too?” Fernando asks as they finished off their meal.
“Of course I did. It was quite obvious.” Hondo points out.
“I see that, but that Jeanette is dangerous, because she has already lived through this before, her memories would be of what happened here that is yet to come. She is worse than a journal because her memories are a living journal! As is, her throwing subtle hints like her placing a full limit bet on us, she knows that our team will win. Anyone catching that would have an unfair advantage over the house in betting.” Fernando explains.
Hondo remains silent in thinking for a long still moment until it hits him, “She is dangerous.”
“Then observe her and make her watch her words when she is around you with others. I will do the same after I have a talk with her.” Fernando tells him.
Hondo nods.
After a few moments of silence...
“What does Mr. Johnson has advertised?” Fernando asks.
“Looks like recycled old luxury liners of the turn of the century.” Hondo says.
“Lexus, Infinity, Mercedes?” Fernando asks.
“Mostly, yes. But there are a few others as well.” Hondo points out.
“Well, this is not a ‘Pimp My Wessen’ TV show, they just need something to take them from Point A to Point B and back to Point A. Do they have any campers?” Fernando says and asks.
“They got RVs... for $20,000.” Hondo answers.
“Then unless we absolutely need a $20,000 RV, we’ll get it from him.” Fernando states.
“They’re the type made from a city bus and the sides expand out.” Hondo explains.
“As lovely as that can be, we do not need it because that would put everyone into one vehicle and one vehicle is not enough, especially when some of us want to split away from the group.” Fernando says. He adds, “No wonder the ad says ‘No money down, just show us your winning ticket, we’ll do the rest!’”
Another 10 minutes and they are done with their meal. The price of it was a bit steep - $45 for the both of them, but it was better than what they had in the past few days so it may have been worth it. They walk out onto the streets and head out to the North Eastern side of the town where Mr. Johnson’s Car Lot is at with hopefully other automotive vendors.
The walk through Fight Town was like walking through 5 miles of New York City 42nd street and Broadway through the harsh 70s and 80s – lots of bright light which covers the pornographic stench of services this area provides. They approach the neighborhood where it shifts from raunchy entertainment to various vendors of vehicles, vehicle parts, accessories, auctions, recovery and other services including bank loans to buy such vehicles. It is not just cars and trucks, but also anything on wheels and anything that can move (on water).
As expected, everyone was putting their best face forward, or in this case, their best vehicles to the forward end of the lot. On the corner of one of the lots was a restored Korean War General’s Jeep that would make anyone riding it look regal. But every row after that the vehicles got worse, with rolling wrecks and spare parts in the back lot. Except for the occasional RV, no one had campers or trailers except for Zeke’s Glamping Emporium; “Glamorous Comfort For Your Outdoor Camping Adventures!” But Zeke’s Glamping Emporium was ten times more the cost than Tom’s Firearms and Camping Equipment or Jerry’s Camper Trailer Workshop. They found everything that they could every wanted but not at the prices they were willing to pay.
“Like the SUV, but how much for modifying it?” Fernando asks.
“Depends on what you want, but we do not do modifications. You need to go take it to Jonathan’s Speed Shop. He has a 6 month waiting list for vehicle As for SUV - $6,000.” The salesman throws at them.
“Doesn’t even have a tow hitch.” Hondo points out.
“Jonathan’s Speed Shop can install one for you but you don’t really need that.” The salesman throws back at him. Hondo and Fernando both look at him like he was stupid, forcing him to reply, “What? You’s one of those Glamping Heroes? If you want Glamping, I got RVs that will make any camp ground parking lot feel like home - $50,000 to start!”
“What about this one on the paper for $20,000?” Fernando asks.
“Oh that one.” The salesman says in disbelief, “That one is just there to bring people like you here so you can look at the other ones.”
“You can not post a fake ad to draw in customers and tell them that you do not have the item on sale but are willing to sell them another at a higher price. Where I come from that is called ‘Bait and Switch.’ And it is illegal.” Fernando tells him.
“Bait and Switch is illegal everywhere!” Hondo throws in.
It’s not illegal, it’s how everybody does business in Fight Town.” The salesman says, “I’ve doing this for over 20 years.”
“It does not matter if everybody does business like that in Fight Town, it’s illegal. Anyways, I do not see anything that takes my interest here. Thanks.” Fernando tells him. He and Hondo begin to leave the lot before salesman jumps in front of them.
“Now wait a minute... You have not checked out our rolling stock in the back lot. Maybe there is something there that would interest you two.” The salesman tells them.
“Not interested, but thank you.” Fernando tells him as he starts to walk down the lot to exit it.
“Come on, we can make a deal!” the salesman says.
“El Jefe said he’s not interested.” Hondo tells him as they step out the lot. They turn to the nearest corner and look at the other three. Alfonz’ Motors was on the opposite corner, Kramer’s ‘Cars & Things’ was across the street on the right and Jonathan’s Speed Shop was across the intersecting street on the left. Kramer’s ‘Cars & Things’ seems to show some promise.
As they look at the dunebuggies on the line, a salesman comes their way.
“Can I interest you in a ride?” The salesman asks.
“These are nice” Fernando says, “But you’re exposed to the weather in them.”
“Many of these come with a folding soft top roof or hard resin top. And many buy a ‘Buggy Blanket’ to wear when it gets too cold outside.” The Salesman explains.
“What about rain? No side windows, everyone inside is going to get wet.” Hondo points out.
“There are these side clip-on windows those inside can put up and it will protect you from the weather.” The salesman says.
“Aright, they are nice except for one thing.” Fernando says.
“What would that be?” The salesman asks.
“All of these are two seaters. I need something that can fit 4 or more.” Fernando says.
The salesman signals them to follow him, “This way, I’ll show you the Maxis. It seats 4 or more and has a sectional hardtop you can take down on those hot days.”
Fernando looks at the price tag, $2,500 – at least half the price of the two seaters in the other side of the lot.
“Why so cheap?” Fernando asks as he points to the price tag.
“Well, I’ll be honest with you. The Maxis is the better buggy, but everyone wants the 2-seater than the Maxis. In fact those who buy the Maxis, remove the rear seats and put in added storage space where the seats were. The Maxis is a hard sell, nobody wants them.”
“I see. Hondo?” Fernando says.
Hondo nods as he kicks the tires and does other checks to it, but then he points out, “We need modifications done to them.”
“We can send them to Jonathan’s Speed shop and add to it what your heart’s desire.” The salesman says.
“Could you deliver them to our own speed shop, in Centerville? A place called ‘Marco’s?’ And how fast can it be done?” Fernando asks.
The salesman noticed the word “them” was used and not “it.” He smiles a bit. “I can ship them as soon as they are paid in full.”
“How will they be delivered and what’s the cost?” Hondo asks.
“$150 extra for shipping by train. $140 to ship the car there and $10 for the round trip to bring my driver back.” The Salesman explains.
“Hondo, you know that we need. Tell him the details, I have to go to the bathroom for a second.” Fernando tells him.
“Bathroom is in the side of the building.” The Salesman points out.
While Fernando walks to the bathroom, Hondo asks some questions.
“These Maxis... they recycled or made new from old stock?” Hondo asks.
“If they were the two seaters in the front of the lot, many of these are recycled from wherever we can get them. But the Maxis, they are made new from old stock and recycled parts. We got about 2500 bodies, frames, and even some engines in boxed kits ready to assemble. Everything else is put in from wherever we can get it, including recycled parts.” The Salesman explains.
“Green is the only color or you have other colors?” Hondo asks.
“We have them in many colors.” The salesman answers.
“Any other options? 2-way radio, added storage? Hard top roof and clip-on side windows, road tires instead of sand tires, the buggy blankets for the riders, stuff like that.” Hondo recites the list in his head.
“How many Maxis are we talking about?” The salesman asks.
“Two. One for me and one for friend in the bathroom.” Hondo answers, as he puts his hand on a panel behind the rear seats and it opens into a small storage area, just like in the VW Bug.
“How much of a down payment are you putting down?’ The salesman asks.
“Full payment.” Fernando says a he returns from his trip to the bathroom. He asks, “How much is the total cost?”
“Let’s go to my desk and figure it out.” The salesman says.
EDIT 01012020: Typo correction.
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After Chaos (Read 187324 times)
