Jeanette
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Note: This is written in collaboration with Fernando.
Hearing the commotion in the other camper, Fernando wakes up before he can go to sleep. Hearing somebody leave from the other camper, he sits up and looks as to who it was, and more importantly, why it was.
In seeing Jeanette leave, Fernando gets his pants and goes over to the gas lantern, turning on the mini-sun in a globe. One final check to make sure he has the keys to the camper, he goes after her without shoes, sox or shirt.
Jeanette has her flashlight pointing to the ground, in the direction she's facing. She tries to speak but can't get the words out. She clears her throat. "I'm just going to the bathroom." She suddenly realizes something. She checks her pajama top and lets out a sigh of relief. She did button up her pajama top before stepping out.
"Bathroom or not, you should not go alone. Now what's going on?" He asks, adding, "And don't tell me 'nothing.'"
"I never went back. I chose to stay?" Jeanette shakes her head. "No."
"And?" He says to her. "Don't get me wrong but understand this - do not trust what that book says. You did not go back, the question is why? Fell in Love? Got married? Had a baby? I don't know nor do I care. But think - she said that 'Old Jeanette is there.' Explain how could you not return if you are old there now but young here now? You had to have gone back but stayed within your community and grew old. So you never left in that sense. If you did not return, how could that Jeanette be old? If you stayed, it would be a young Jeanette there now, which would cause problems when you arrive. Such a Time Paradox would blow up the universe. So don't believe the hype that book says. Not until it is all is said and done."
Jeanette is lost. "Old Jeanette? Where did that come from? Even if I returned, I would have died a few years ago."
"Didn't Hikaru said that you were there in Texas? How can you be there if you are here? And who said you would have died years ago? My grandmother died at 113, but all of her brothers died in their 60s and sisters in their 80s. It's a roll of the genetic dice that you won't know until you get there. I'm saying, the hell with the book. You got a job to do, you will do it. You got decisions to make, you will make it. That book is just what could be. You make one change in your actions based on that book, its text will change, so it is not as fixed as you dare think. And anyone who reads it will have their memories altered as what they remember reading." He tells her.
"Hikaru didn't say I'm in Texas. As I mentioned over the years, people on Mom's side of the family don't live long. My oldest living relative is in her 70s. As for the book, Hikaru is comparing my journal entry with her copy. The fact she's spending a lot of time doing so tells me something. And how would I know if any attempt I make to change history would result in fulfilling it?"
"So? No male on my father's side made it past 55. You think I'm going to crawl into my coffin as soon as I hit 54 and 1/2? Hell no! I intend to live to the next century if possible or die trying. Same should you." He tells her. "The fact that she is spending too much time with her copy of your journal says that she is either a nosey bitch looking for the juicy bits or she is nosey and wants to see the juicy bits happen. But anything that changes, and you write those changes, the letters in her copy will be changing too. It is not in a Temporal Status Bubble to stabilize it from changes. Neither are Hikaru's memories. So she says you did not return, does not mean that you won't return. Maybe. Just maybe, you ran out of pages at the time of writing that journal and you went back home when you could not write anymore. So in short Jeanette, never say never."
Jeanette's not going to argue with Fernando about her family history. "Hikaru has had fifty something years to read her copy. If it is clearly different, she would not be spending this much time checking one entry." Jeanette pauses. "If you're right, her copy is an exact match because her memory and copy changes with every deviation I make. Hikaru said I never returned not because of what the journal says but because she's been here the entire fifty-six years. When you get your equipment, will you be able to tell if any changes were made?"
"If and when, yes I will be able too." He answers.
"What would it mean if we're in an infinite loop, assuming I'm using the right terminology? What I mean is, what if history can't be change and no matter what I do, Hikaru's copy of the journal remains unchanged and accurate? But let's suppose I do decide to return. Is a new time line created as a result or is it more complicated than that?"
"It's a little more complicated that that. These events will continue to repeat themselves again and again until something stops it. With subtle differences, each run through the loop will be the same. It will take one event to stop it, it can be big or small but it is the keystone that holds the others together." He explains, "It's like this. You can stop Columbus from 'discovering America' but you can not stop someone else from doing the same because the event of America's discovery will happen no matter what. At his time there were 12 different proposals to do this expedition from 4 different nations. For us it is a matter of finding out which event does it and for you to do what you think is right for you, not for me, Hikaru or what it says in a book. If it means that you fell in love with somebody here, married than and begin to raise a family here, I'm not stopping you. Just do me the favor and do not forget who you are."
Jeanette gets to what's bugging her. "If I return, creating another time line as a result, would my sisters, in this time, have to continue on without me?"
"I do not control what happens between you and your sisters. If you return, you will be with them again. It is you not returning that causes them to be without you. But what happens when you are with them is on you. You can not allow that happens here and what you learn here to effect the events of the past if and when you return. One of your sisters has children, then let her have children. One of your sisters get married, then let them get married. If you have your own children or get married or both, then do it because it is something you want, not because it is written in book. But I will say this - to raise their and your own families means that you and your sisters will live separately. Accept that because that is life. They will still be your sisters and you three will continue to be doing sisterly things. So do not think about altering time lines or what ifs. Just think about what is best for you and what you can do to obtain it when you are finished here." He explains.
Jeanette believes time lines do play a role. It looks like, to get the answer she is after, she has to break it down piece by piece. "If I return, would another time line be created?"
"Without my tools I would not know. It depends on how the loop is broken. But you should not concern yourself with that. You should concern yourself with what you think is best for you. So, what is best for you?" He says and asks.
"I'm more concerned for my sisters than I am for myself. If returning creates another time line, I have fixed nothing because my sisters in this time line would still have gone on without me."
“It is a time loop, it will constantly repeat itself until that loop is broken. Once it is broken it goes to the beginning and continues on the new time line uninterrupted and un-looped. The loop is destroyed and never happened. In that you can go back to your sisters and a new history is reestablished.” He begins. “Chances are 50/50 that WWIII breaks out or not, but the volcanoes and earthquakes will occur because natural events can not be stopped. If WWIII does not happen then something else will happen but whether it is bad or good remains to be seen. There is nothing you can do. If you obsess over it, you will be locked up in the psyche ward again. You need to live life to the best of your ability to make yourself, your sisters and if any - your significant other happy.”
He continues, “The point is this - reading the book invokes the loop. It is the start of the loop sometime in the future when it is finished, published and brought back in time. I will even dare state that it is the book that brings in the spirits. How or why - because it is you that the Spirits want. What's the connection? I have to ask, did they read the book sometime in the future? If yes, then that is the reason why they want you. Mind you, this is my own constructed connection as to why. Now the problem is to break the loop. The more you learn from the book, the deeper you get into the loop, making it that much more difficult to get out of it. From the tiny amount you now know, you are now stuck in the loop. You lost what chance to break the loop from this point. There will be other opportunities to break it though it will be harder to do. But if you continue to read it before, you will get worse, something bad happens, and you will be at home again typing on your computer with a crow on the computer screen, nothing was fixed and time re-loops again.”
He pauses for a second, “It has to stop and you have to do the mission the Spirits gave, complete it and then be able to come back in time where you are with your sisters. And then you can hope for the best and prepare for the worst, including your sisters. But you to live life to the fullest or back the psyche ward you go when you start obsessing again.”
“This question begs to be asked. If the time line is to be destroyed
anyhow, what's the point of the mission?” Jeanette asks.
“The mission is to rescue Gabriela so she can make her community thrive. End mission. You stay for a while to make sure that things are OK for Gabriela and when that is done, you are back in front of your computer again hours after you had left. The Time Line is restored not destroyed, but the loop is destroyed.”
Jeanette lets out a sigh of relief. “That's a relief. If I decide to go back, would I remember anything?”
“We are not at that point where we could go back because of the book. But lets say it was a successful mission and you go home. You will have the memories when you return on May 1, 2010. If Hikaru tells you that you do not return, you need to realize that it is just one point of view, and that point of view can change as events change in the loop until the loop is broken."
"It seems I had to hear that several times before I finally got it." Jeanette is happy to admit that. "If events in the loop change or the loop is broken, would Hikaru remember a different past, one in which I return?"
"If the loop breaks, than those events that lead to it are remembered. What do you want to do when it breaks, stay in 2066 or return to 2010?"
Jeanette refers to something she is not clear on. "I'm not clear on 'those events that lead to it are remembered.' I want to return to 2010."
"OK, in simple terms, all events are remembered. But in a loop, when things go back to repeat, most things are forgotten because they revert to their original state before it begins again. In a loop that is broken and you return to your time, you remember."
Jeanette rephrases the question about Hikaru to get an answer. "When I break the loop, how does this affect the memories of someone like, for example, Hikaru who read the published journal?"
"When you write your journal, those differences are also made in the published journal. Hikaru, in reading the published journal, would have her memories changed according to those changes."
"Okay, so Hikaru's memories are changed but other people's memories are not."
"Anyone who is involved has their memories changed. It's those who are not involved, though the event wave will also go through them, those events are not part of their history so they are not affected."
"Does the loop break when I write my next journal entry or before?" Jeanette asks.
"The event breaks before you write it down."
Toward the beginning of the conversation Fernando did say, "[Hikaru] said that 'Old Jeanette is there.' Explain how could you not return if you are old there now but young here now? You had to have gone back but stayed within your community and grew old. So you never left in that sense. If you did not return, how could that Jeanette be old?"
Jeanette thought Fernando was confused. What if he isn't confused? What if the time loop is already broken? If so, would Hikaru be in the Camper comparing her copy of the journal with the original? Did Hikaru bring her copy of the journal with her? The fact Fernando mentioned it in the conversation suggests that Hikaru did.
Jeanette poses a question that could clear things up. "What if I arrive in Charlton, see my old self, return to 2010, take the immortality pill, remain in Duncanville/Charlton for fifty-six years and begin the job at the orphanage?"
"There are no 'Immortality Pills' here because I do not have them with me, only the Bio Energy Healing Pills, and those are limited supply. And I do not give out those pills like that. But for the sake of argument, I give you one of those pills in 2010. Time continues, the events you live out for the next 50-something years will be those you live by and you become Old Jeanette. But that is if you complete this mission and get to Charlton." He explains to her, "Now, if we are done here and you do not need to go to the bathroom, I need my 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And I mean 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep."
With his lantern dimming, he twists a knob on it and a little Plunger Valve pops out. By covering a hole on the plunger knob with his thumb on the in stroke and uncovering it with every out stroke, he feeds the fuel system some much needed air with about ten pumping strokes, making it bright again. With the plunger valve back in, he gives it a twist and locks it in place again.
"If you're going, I would urge you to use my lantern and save the battery on that light-stick of yours." As he holds out his lantern by it's handle to her, "It should last another half hour, and to turn it off, twist this knob to the left until the flame inside the glass bowl goes out."
"Okay." Jeanette turns off her flashlight and holds it to her body using the arm holding the roll of toilet paper. With her free hand she retrieves the lantern from Fernando.
After returning from the bathroom, Jeanette goes to the door of her Camper, holds the roll of toilet paper to her body using the arm holding the lantern and, with her free hand, turns the knob to the left until the flame is out. With her free hand, she opens the side door to the Camper and places the extinguished lantern on the floor. With her hand that held the lantern, she removes the flashlight held between her body and arm, aims the flashlight to the ground (to give her light without waking anyone up) and turns it on. She steps in the Camper and closes the door.
Jeanette places the roll of toilet paper on the table. Putting it back in the cabinet may wake up Danielle. Her journal is not on the table. Jeanette opens her Pelican case and, still holding her flashlight in the downward position, she sees her journal with the bright yellow cover. Jeanette does not know if Hikaru returned the journal to the case after checking it with her copy or if she did not check it at all. Jeanette closes the case.
Jeanette does not check the time. It may already be May 1 or close to it. She turns off the flashlight and climbs back into bed.
Jeanette Isabelle and Fernando.
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Pages: 
After Chaos (Read 186297 times)
