Hondo's Cabin - These are REAL 911 Calls!

Hondo I. Sackett

YaBB Administrator

Behind you!

Posts: 1349
Gender: male

These are REAL 911 Calls!
Jun 6^th, 2008, 2:22pm

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown

house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham

and cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen

table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had

taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired

of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have

an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same

thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two

minutes apart

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.

Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble

breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.

Hondo

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Well the cowboy, like the red man, you had to leave your land
You can't raise your stock and plant your crop in the gumbo and the sand
Greed disguised as progress has put us to the test
They won't be glad until we're gone from our home out in the west
It's sad to see those good old days replaced with greed and doubt
Soon we'll leave the country, the campfire has gone out
Bid 'em all adieu, you can't turn the world about
The cowboy left the country, the campfire has gone out

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Campisi Newbies Seattle Posts: 69 Gender:	Re: These are REAL 911 Calls! Reply #1 - Jun 7^th, 2008, 6:01am None of these are as good as that one call a woman made to OnStar from inside her Suburban... when she was locked inside.
Back to top	I have now waved goodbye to the chipped mug of capless and corporate-logoed biros and rollerballs on my desk, and in their place the Cross resides alone, a writing weapon to be taken seriously, a latter-day Excalibur (though mightier, obviously, because it's a pen) that I shall wield daily in my tireless quest for legible, joined-up truth. IP Logged

Soda

Ex Member

Re: These are REAL 911 Calls!
Reply #2 - Jun 18^th, 2008, 8:28pm

Quote from Hondo I. Sackett on Jun 6^th, 2008, 2:22pm:

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.

That's classic! It reminds me of a recent news article I read.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL1646424020080616

Apparently, this German gentleman was arrested for break and enter of a supermarket. The police caught him, and handcuffed him, but he escaped. He later turned up at a police station, and asked them to remove the cuffs, expecting to walk away without being arrested! Cheesy

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Hondo I. Sackett

YaBB Administrator

Behind you!

Posts: 1349
Gender: male

Re: These are REAL 911 Calls!
Reply #3 - Jun 18^th, 2008, 10:13pm

that is stupid! so stupid its funny!!

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Well the cowboy, like the red man, you had to leave your land
You can't raise your stock and plant your crop in the gumbo and the sand
Greed disguised as progress has put us to the test
They won't be glad until we're gone from our home out in the west
It's sad to see those good old days replaced with greed and doubt
Soon we'll leave the country, the campfire has gone out
Bid 'em all adieu, you can't turn the world about
The cowboy left the country, the campfire has gone out

IP Logged

Campisi Newbies Seattle Posts: 69 Gender:	Re: These are REAL 911 Calls! Reply #4 - Jun 21^st, 2008, 3:50am I once saw video of two guys trying to make off with a gas station toilet on a scooter. It's just one of those things that makes you hate humanity.
Back to top	I have now waved goodbye to the chipped mug of capless and corporate-logoed biros and rollerballs on my desk, and in their place the Cross resides alone, a writing weapon to be taken seriously, a latter-day Excalibur (though mightier, obviously, because it's a pen) that I shall wield daily in my tireless quest for legible, joined-up truth. IP Logged