Hondo's Cabin - Chuck Norris funny facts

Hondo I. Sackett

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Chuck Norris funny facts
Oct 29^th, 2007, 3:57pm

THE TOP TEN CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

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Well the cowboy, like the red man, you had to leave your land
You can't raise your stock and plant your crop in the gumbo and the sand
Greed disguised as progress has put us to the test
They won't be glad until we're gone from our home out in the west
It's sad to see those good old days replaced with greed and doubt
Soon we'll leave the country, the campfire has gone out
Bid 'em all adieu, you can't turn the world about
The cowboy left the country, the campfire has gone out

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Mean One

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Re: Chuck Norris funny facts
Reply #1 - Jan 2^nd, 2008, 3:00pm

Chuck NorrisChuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can win a game of solitare with only 18 cards.

Chuck Norris does'nt sleep he waits.

Guns don't kill people Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris doesnt churn butter he round house kickes the cow and butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris is currently sueing NBC's "Law and Order" for the traade marked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds walk and kill.

Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight the knife lost.

What is the last thing going through you mind if Chuck Norris round house kickes you in the head?? HIS FOOT!

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#1 Chuck Norris Fan

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Hondo I. Sackett

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Behind you!

Posts: 1351
Gender: male

Re: Chuck Norris funny facts
Reply #2 - Jan 2^nd, 2008, 3:29pm

Chuck Norris once won the world poker championship with a black Queen, a joker and a blue Uno card

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Well the cowboy, like the red man, you had to leave your land
You can't raise your stock and plant your crop in the gumbo and the sand
Greed disguised as progress has put us to the test
They won't be glad until we're gone from our home out in the west
It's sad to see those good old days replaced with greed and doubt
Soon we'll leave the country, the campfire has gone out
Bid 'em all adieu, you can't turn the world about
The cowboy left the country, the campfire has gone out

IP Logged